Testing, testing…


Lucky thing that I am, I have recently been bestowed with many toys for testing. No, I’m not a Santa’s elf, rather I am a naughty pixie-type thing, or something… anyway, they’re sex toys. Yay!

Like an excited child I was when I opened the box of goodies. I squeed like I’ve never squeed before. Oooh, shiny! Pinkness! Pretty boxes! But also some of that horrible vacuum packaging! And batteries, so many batteries… and chargers. And where did I leave the scissors? And where’s the English version of the instructions for this one…

So yeah, it turns out that testing sex toys = not sexy at all. You need pen and paper, many batteries, scissors, and an IQ of at least 574 to decipher some of the usage instructions. I had sticky-backed plastic and an empty toilet roll tube on standby, but luckily these were unnecessary.

All this was made worse by the fact that I’m easily distracted by shiny things like packaging, nice buttons, fonts, and laughing at what the toy does when you turn it on and let it dance on a hard surface. A fellow pervert friend of mine was online while I unpacked them…

Me: now this will sound weird
but if I have it in my ear and I put it on the second highest setting, it makes my vision blurry
but on the highest setting, it doesn’t

FP: Er…

3 Responses to “Testing, testing…”

  1. 😀 LoveHoney had an offer at halloween on ten euro vibes that came in a coffin case. i was gonna buy them for my close female friends but then wasn’t close enough to anywhere with 3v cards. hmmm. maybe next year 🙂

  2. Weren’t those awesome?! I really wanted one, but I couldn’t justify placing an order for just that…

  3. Hahahahahahah. If it is shiny and pretty and does a dance…. of course it will be distracting! Hee hee.

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