Put a ring on it


Most of my vast collection of sex toys are for personal use only, but I’ve tried plenty of couples’ ones in my time too. The one I return to time and again – despite having fancy things like this in the toy box – is the trusty vibrating cock ring. I picked one up in Miss Fantasia while nosying at toys with the boy recently, so I figured I’d shtick up an aul review.

The Screaming O Yeah Vibrating Vertical Cock Ring is what I got for the very reasonable price of €20. I got some spare batteries for it too; much easier than trying to figure out which ones it needs later, and also avoids horrible heat-of-the moment battery wasting scenarios.

Having tried a few of this type of toy before, I liked the look of this one because the vibrate-y bit (a technical term) is vertical, so it’s really easy to position for maximum ‘oooh’.

For those who are struggling to figure out what it’s supposed to do at all at all, the ring slides around the penis to give a stronger and longer erection, and the vibrate-y bit ™ is for climulating the stit. I mean, stimulating the clit.

It works best with the lady on top, which is rather convenient, since that’s the best way to have sex. We got it home and broke it out, with the boy proclaiming that we could try it but I wasn’t to get my hopes up about being allowed to enjoy it. Hmph, sez I, and carried on regardless… all in the name of research, of course.

It’s super easy to use (take it out, turn it on, get it on) and a whole heap of fun. There was one little snag, however – the toy was too small for the boy. Or the boy was too big for the toy. Either way, it pinched.  Handy chap that he is, he took it home and tinkered until it fit his gargantuan appendage; cutting away the inner part of the ring to make it more comfortable. Now it looks like this…

Stubby fingers included for scale

…and though I’m a bit worried that it might snap, it works much better for us. Oh, who am I kidding – it allows him to wear it, which works out super fucking awesomely for me. It’s fantastic to add an extra buzz to our sex life, a little treat for me when I’m extra good.

Bottom line: every couple should have one of these, or a variation thereof. If you’re a lady and you have trouble orgasming without external stimulation, you need one. If you’re a gentleman and you want a stronger, longer erection, you need one. If your sex life is without problems of any sort, bully for you… but still buy one. If you’re too shy to show your face in Miss Fantasia (don’t be! They’re lovely!), grab one on LoveHoney.

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