Review: LoveHoney 10 Function Remote Control Dream Egg Vibrator

31May10

This baby has been languishing in my toy drawer for literally years until recently, when himself expressed an interest in teasing me half to death in public. As you do.

LoveHoney 10 Function Dream Egg 2.0

The toy comes in two parts – the remote control and the egg, which vibrates. The victim lady inserts the egg and hands the remote over to her torturer partner, who can then turn the egg on and off at his cruel whim discretion. The egg has 10 functions that can be changed with a simple press of the button, and the remote works up to 15 feet away, allegedly.

Because it had been lying dormant for years, the batteries were dead in this little toy, and so we nipped into Miss Fantasia to grab some new ones. I was not keen on the idea of being played with in public, so I did my damndest to lose/forget/misplace the batteries. It did not work. My fate was sealed. Trying it out at home before we left for a party, I decided it wasn’t all bad… a pleasant buzzing, not too strong or distracting, with minimal noise. If you were sitting in a library you’d be getting filthy looks, but as we were going to a nightclub I wasn’t too perturbed by the faint buzzing.

Smug grin firmly plastered on his face, the boy had great fun on the bus, trying out the different vibrating patterns and enjoying my look of arousal and confusion as I tried to figure out if he’d changed it or not. I think my main state was one of flusteredness rather than arousal, though… and while this was entertaining the Smug Controller no end, it wasn’t exactly a pleasurable experience for me. Luckily I’m ok with being flustered and uncomfortable as long as Sir is enjoying himself.

Once we arrived at the party though, it tipped over the line from a fun little power game into full-blown annoying. I felt massively exposed being in company with it buzzing away, and though it didn’t spoil my enjoyment of the party, I couldn’t help but wish it wasn’t there.

The longer I thought about it, the more frustrated I got, and I ended up being quite upset about it. We don’t need this, I wailed to the boy in bed later. I’m always hungry for him, always turned on or ready to be, and he can tease me more with a tug of my hair or even a few choice words in my ear than a silly buzzing egg.

We resolved not to use it again, but I still can’t really give the toy a bad review. It’s well made, the material is soft and it’s comfortable to wear. There was no fear of it falling out, though going to the loo with it in is extremely strange. The remote worked from a good distance, but it does need a direct line of connection to the egg in order to work. We found that the remote was a bit finicky, sometimes it worked and other times it didn’t – while this was fine for us in a noisy club, in a quieter environment it has the potential be quite embarrassing.

The ultimate flaw though is the fact that there is no ‘off’ button. You turn it on with one button, then cycle through the 10 patterns until you get back to ‘off’. Thankfully, LoveHoney have rectified this oversight in the newer version of the toy, which goes some way to making the toy as perfect as it can be.

In a nutshell? Good toy, but best saved for a one-on-one night of teasing and torture.

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3 Responses to “Review: LoveHoney 10 Function Remote Control Dream Egg Vibrator”

  1. 1 squirl

    The fact that it wouldn’t turn off and stay off was crap! 😦
    I just wanted to give you a little jump every so often when I caught your eye. This business of patterns and other frills was just tedious. An ‘on-when-held’ would be soooo much better. Oh, oh, and the controller should be made to look like a car blipper thingy, that pink yolk is just spectacularly obvious and eye catching.

  2. 2 Girl

    The link for the newer version doesn’t seem to be working? 😦

    • The link works fine for me on a computer, but not on mobile… seems to be something to do with the LH site itself 🙂


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