People keep telling me they admire my writing because of its honesty. Specifically, my blogging, I guess. I never know what to say to that, except ‘thank you’, of course… because I feel like I’m always holding back slightly.
I am open and honest about my sexuality, but only to an extent that wouldn’t – well, squick people out. The majority of my friends are (to my knowledge, anyhow) vanilla, and I sometimes get reminders of that when they say the blog freaks them out a little or they got a shock.
I don’t know, though, what would be best. To disassociate the blog from my real life altogether – of course, letting anyone in my life who’d found it so far remain and read on if they wish – would give me a lot more freedom in my writing; I would feel less conflicted when I apply for jobs or get a new Twitter follower. I wouldn’t have to worry that although so far, my friends have been supportive, the rest of the world may be a little harsher in judging me.
But what’s the alternative? Hiding away? That goes against the whole ethos of the blog. I wanted to make sex a talking point, bring it to the fore, make it something to be proud of, not ashamed of. And if I’m writing under a pseudonym – am I protecting myself, or am I hiding?
There’s a third road, and that’s write whatever I want and let the world be damned. Might need to find a bit more bravery to go with my honesty.
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