Review: Lovehoney Satisfy Me G-Spot Dildo

21Sep12

I picked up this pretty little thing on Lovehoney’s most excellent Deal of the Day offer, where it set me back a mere €10.39 (£8). Lovehoney now offers free delivery to Ireland, so I definitely got a bargain!

It arrived promptly (well, as promptly as An Post is capable of) and in the tasteful new Lovehoney packaging – no sexy cartoon ladies or glamour models in sight. Inside, the toy was nestled in a little plastic tray along with an information sheet about how best to use your new toy. (This is where I got up to fetch said information sheet to tell you what it says… and discover that I have lost it. Oh well.)

 

 

The dildo is about 7.5 inches long, pink (of course!), and made of velvety-soft silicone. This is touted everywhere as feeling lovely and being skin-safe, phthalate-free, yadda yadda. And that’s great! But in reality, velvety silicon = picks up every bit of dust and fluff in your house. And if you, hypothetically, had a pervert cat who, for example, liked to sit in your sex toy box inside the bedside cabinet whenever he got the chance… you’ll find you need to give this toy a rinse before you use it. I picked up one of the Lovehoney satin toy bags to keep it in, so now there’s less cat hair, but more tiny threads of purple satin. Suffice it to say, it’s not my favourite material.

Structurally, the dildo is shaped in a gentle curve with a bulbous head, meant to stimulate your g-spot. It’s a very pretty and unthreatening little toy; soft and pliable, and high-quality – no ugly seams or anything. However, this pliability is where me and the Satisfy Me fell out. In short, it did not.

makes a great pretend phone

I found the head to be too small and the neck too pliable to give me any earth-shattering sensations… or any sensations at all, really. I can see that it would be great for a lady who’s just beginning to explore her g-spot, or for a lady who’s not quite so fond of being, er… jackhammered? Haha. I’m a classy broad. But as it was, I found myself getting more frustrated than turned on, especially when my partner was using it on me. I found myself wishing he’d just feck it across the room and do the job properly himself.

If the Satisfy Me was a little larger and a little more rigid, I’d be right on board. I’m glad I tried it out though, if only because it’s made me even more certain that I need (yes, NEED) the Njoy Pure Wand in my life.

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